Live and Let Die
by avengerteam
Summary: The Battle for Manhattan has been won, but on top of everything that has to be fixed, Tony now has to deal with a new problem, one that won't go away, no matter what he does. Cancer!Fic, some Pepperony. Obviously, major Tony whump. Warning! Character Death! (probably)
1. Arc Reactor Disaster

Tony was never patient at the best of times. And this guy was really not helping. "Look, for the last time. All I need is a crew to help move some of the equipment from Stark Tower out to the last emergency site. One crew."

"All the crews 're gone, mate. We can't do nothin' 'bout it until one of them gets back in an 'our or so."

The genius threw his hands in the air. "Fine. We'll take care of it ourselves." Turning away from the unhelpful man, he looked for his new team. Steve was over by one of the skyscrapers, moving rubble with ease, despite the fact that the same rubble was being moved with groups of four regular, non-enhanced people. Barton and Natasha were directing people who had taken refuge in nearby buildings out and away from the city. Bruce, back to his normal, non-Hulk self, was bandaging a cut on the arm of a small blonde girl, who was looking at him in awe. Thor was moving dead Chitauri out of the road so emergency vehicles could get through.

Scrubbing his face with a hand, Tony sighed. He was exhausted. The Battle for Manhattan, as it was already being called, had only ended about two hours ago. Loki was sitting in SHIELD custody, Thor's hammer on his chest.

They had taken an hour and a half to eat and take care of the most dangerous of their many injuries. Schwarma had happened, good, good schwarma, and lots of water. It had been nearly silent as the team of superheroes had scarfed down meat and grilled vegetables and probably cleaned out the stores of the family who owned the restaurant while trying to get some calories back.

Steve got cleaned up and bandaged by Bruce, despite his protests that he didn't really need it since the plasma burn from the Chitauri weapon was healing already. Steve's words were undermined by the look on his face every time Bruce touched his side, and the super soldier let the physicist/doctor do his work.

Natasha spent nearly half an hour carefully pulling shards of glass out of Barton's arm and back where he had breached a window in a sleeveless shirt, giving him quite a few cuts and slashes to go with the bruise on his back from where he landed on his quiver.

Natasha herself was fine except a few cuts and bruises, which she let Barton patch up for her when she was done with his arm.

Thor had a puncture wound from the shiv Loki had shoved in his side; he absolutely refused to let anyone help him with it, bandaging the cut up himself and wincing slightly.

Tony... he hurt. He had waved off Bruce, who was giving Tony a glare that told him Bruce didn't believe for an instant that the genius was fine. But hey, what can you do? After the bruising and battering from the main battle, a couple scrapes from the Chitauri on the ground, and possibly some bruised ribs from his Jonah-style trip through the space whale, he had flown a nuke into space, spent nearly four minutes without oxygen, and then fallen back to Earth, only to be caught rather violently by the Hulk.

His arc reactor had stopped, the socket it sat in was now aching and was probably bruised badly; Tony wasn't even sure why the reactor was working at the moment, but it seemed to be fine, so he would just switch it out when they got back to the tower.

For now, he was just keeping the suit on, minus the helmet, with the hope that it wouldn't drain the arc reactor again and it would help him avoid the overbearing medical attention Bruce and Steve would give him the minute he pulled it off and they saw all the scrapes and bruises.

Now the Avengers were back on the streets. They were tired, filthy, and needed some time to crash after saving New York.

_Not even sure why I moved to New York. Everything bad happens to New York._ Tony mused as he walked towards Steve and Thor, who were moving a smashed car off the sidewalk. "Hey guys, Hill called a few minutes ago. Once we get the emergency power running for the last hospital site and the entrance is cleared, we can be done for the day."

The two blonde men nodded tiredly in response, and the trio moved towards the makeshift medical center a few blocks away, in an office building.

Fifteen minutes later, Tony slapped the "Danger: Do Not Touch" sticker on the final power source and started it up, listening to the hum as the building lit up the late afternoon, its lights coming back on, the clean power overriding the building's original generator and upping the electric flow to the system.

Thor and Steve threw the last of the rubble off to the side and moved back to where Tony stood, looking at his baby, his clean, self-sustained power source, lighting up a hospital.

"So, we're done?" Steve couldn't even muster up the energy to be excited, he just sounded exhausted. Tony nodded. "Let's go get the others." Avoiding the worst of the rubble, they walked past destroyed buildings and dead Chitauri, meeting the others in what used to be a little pocket park but was now a hole in the ground.

"Everyone's staying with me at the tower. No excuses." None of the Avengers argued. Tony was relieved. They had had a rocky start, but he liked the others. Except he didn't really trust Natasha, and wasn't sure he was going to get along with Steve at all, especially after the fight on the Helicarrier, and knew nothing about Barton, and Thor was a god, for heaven's sake. He did like Bruce a lot though. But at least for now, they could come live with him, and it was okay with him. At least they accepted easily and he didn't have to strong-arm them into it. Besides, Pepper would kill him if- Pepper.

"Oh my God, Pepper. She's going to kill me! JARVIS, call Pepper!" The Avengers were looking at him like he was crazy, since he was talking to the Iron Man helmet, which he was holding Hamlet-style, about calling a spice.

Natasha, who knew that Tony was talking about a person and not the seasoning, and that JARVIS was Tony's AI, smiled.

_"I am sorry, Sir, but it seems that Miss Potts' phone is no longer working. Based on the last received signal, however, she was heading towards New York and should be here within and hour and a half."_ Tony sighed. "Thanks, J. At least she's okay."

Suddenly realizing that everyone was staring at him, he gave a half-smile. "Pepper Potts is my co-CEO, ex-personal assistant, and girlfriend." He was saved from further explanation by their arrival at Stark Tower.

Except it didn't say STARK anymore; there was only the letter A left hanging sadly from the top.

Sighing mentally, Tony yanked open the door. It was going to take a lot of work to get the tower back into shape. The top floor had a huge hole in it from Loki destroying things, dozens of windows were shattered, and there was a god-shaped dent in the floor of the penthouse. "Elevators running, J?" The button lit up when he pressed it, and he smiled. Thank God for his genius power source, independent, self-sustaining, and all that.

_"Fully operational, Sir." _

A small bell announced the arrival of the car and all six superheroes piled inside. "What-" Steve opened his mouth and closed it again, looking startled at the British voice coming from the walls.

"AI, Cap, artificial intelligence. I coded him, his name is JARVIS. Technology has come a long way since the nineteen forties."

_"A pleasure to meet you, Captain Rogers; the same to you Misters Barton, Banner, and Odinson, and a pleasure to see you again, Miss Romanoff."_

The doors opened on the floor below the penthouse, which amazingly had all its windows intact. The Avengers spilled out and immediately crashed on various pieces of furniture in the room. Tony carefully lowered himself onto the couch and began removing the armor manually; the assembly platform wasn't exactly stable at the moment and he was too tired to walk all the way to his workshop. "

Feel free to stay here, if you want, but there are actual beds and bathrooms, and the like. Down the hall, whichever you want, just not the first one, that's mine. No taking my room." He coughed, which hurt, and kept pulling off the metal plates. He made it all the way up both arms and then started having problems. The rest of the torso had center-fixed axises, which joined in the center, which meant that he was going to have to get off the dented chest piece, which was going to hurt like hell.

As quietly as possible, he wrenched the metal apart, gasping a little as the reactor casing was moved in his chest, sending a wave of pain from the bruised area around it. Ignoring the looks Bruce was giving him, Tony dropped the chest plate to the floor, then sat forward and out of the back of the suit, adding that to the pile as well. When the armor was finally off, he sat back with a sigh of relief.

"JARVIS, play a movie, or something entertaining." He avoided Steve, who was giving him the Captain America Authority stare and Bruce who was still trying to convince him, apparently through mental telepathy, to get medically checked over. "...and give me full diagnostics, emphasis on the arc." He added quietly.

_"Yes Sir, complete diagnostics will take approximately fourteen minutes, due to the current amount of server usage all over the city._" JARVIS responded, making no effort to be quiet.

"JARVIS, you traitor. I should dismantle you and..." Tony was stopped by a sudden lack of air and a short, stabbing pain. He looked down in time to see the reactor flick back on from a moment of darkness. He gasped, sucking in a breath.

"That's not good. At all." Bruce, who had still been staring down Tony when the arc died, was on his feet, running across the room. Steve was frozen in place, his face a mask of concern and helplessness. Natasha moved towards the couch so fast Tony almost missed it, and Barton looked completely lost, not having gotten a debrief on the reactor like everyone else, but seemed worried all the same.

"JARVIS! Skip the diagnostics. Send Dummy with backup 4b now!" Tony flinched as the reactor flickered again, feeling his heart skipping beats.

"Tony, talk to me! What's wrong? How do we fix it?" Bruce was kneeling in front of him, hands twisting.

"Nothing until Dummy gets here." Tony started trying to pull his shirt off, but only made it about half way before the reactor flickered again, this time staying off for several seconds. A pair of hands, Bruce's, he assumed, were on the edge of the fabric, getting it over his head.

There was a hiss of sympathetic pain and frustration as all of the bruising around the reactor casing was exposed. "Tony, why didn't you say the reactor was acting up? Your file said that-" Before Bruce could finish yelling at Tony about the importance of telling the team about his medical issues, the reactor went dark. This time, it didn't turn back on.

_"Sir, Dummy is on the way. The current reactor is compromised. I advise you to remove it now to be prepared for a speedy replacement._" JARVIS sounded as worried as it was possible for a computer to sound.

"'k, J." It was starting to hurt a lot now, Tony was taking deep breaths that were rapidly becoming more shallow as his heart skipped beats, trying to fight the pain in his chest. His hands were shaking and looked white, almost grey. He sealed his fingers around the dead reactor, twisting it and pulling it out of his chest. Tony determinedly avoided the stares of his teammates as the hole in his chest, a good five inches deep, was uncovered.

The elevator dinged again and Dummy squealed into the room, holding a glowing arc reactor in his claws chirping loudly and frantically. The bot pushed the reactor against Tony urgently.

"Stop..." Tony couldn't get any more words out as he tried to take the reactor from the panicked robot with his shaking hands.

"Tony! What do I need to?" Bruce snatched the reactor from the bot and was holding it like it was made of spun glass.

_"Attach the base magnet to the plate in the reactor casing. Do not touch the walls of the casing with the magnet. Then twist the reactor into the casing to seal it"_ JARVIS supplied.

Tony wanted to thank JARVIS for the help. He couldn't get the words out of his oxygen- deprived lungs though, so he just looked at the nearest camera for a moment. J would understand.

His vision was starting to grey out around the edges and he had to stop himself from panicking as Bruce got all handsy and touchy with the reactor casing, cause that's bad, nobody touches that but Pepper, and other people are bad...

Tony gasped as the magnet sealed to the plate deep in his chest and his heartbeat went back to it's normal pace. Taking a couple deep breaths, he lowered himself back into the couch and closed his eyes as his blood pressure returned to where it was supposed to be.

He opened his eyes again and his line of vision was full of worried faces (and Dummy, who was clicking his claw open and closed the way he did when he was really concerned).

Flashing the Stark smile, he sat up again. "I'm good. It's good. I'm okay." "Damn it, Tony, tell us when something's wrong!" Bruce was clearly frustrated that Tony would ignore his own health.

"I didn't mean to, Bruce! You heard JARVIS, I asked him to run diagnostics. I just didn't know how badly the reactor was damaged from the whole space-nuke-falling-dying thing! Besides, I've never been open about any of that." Tony half-smiled.

"Fine." Steve cut in. "Just don't do it again."

"Don't mean to, Spangles, dying once was enough." Tony rubbed the red and purple area around the reactor. There was silence for a few moments as peace returned to the tower and the sudden burst of adrenaline faded. Then there was a small laugh from Natasha, surprising everyone.

"At least you tried to fight dying this time, Stark. If you rushed off to make an omelet before Pepper got here, then I would be worried."

Tony couldn't help but laugh a little, no matter how much it hurt.

**A/N: This is going to hopefully be a longer story. I'm planning on Tony getting some form of cancer later on, by chapter four or so. Details are still sketchy, so if you have ideas about how this should be introduced into the story, I would love to hear them!**


	2. Pepper, Space Whales, and Apologies

Chapter 2: Pepper, Space Whales, and Apologies

Tony had just drifted off when someone yelled his name. He frowned, 'cause he was trying to sleep here, and who is being so loud, anyway, nobody is awake enough to yell, and what was the tapping noise?

Taking a few deep breaths, Tony pulled himself together enough to register that the tapping was high heels. The kind Pepper wore.

Just as this all connected, she was there. Red eyes from crying, professional suit, confused/relieved/_loving_ expression, yeah that was Pepper, in the doorway.

"Tony? Tony, I thought... you called... and I didn't answer... and you were falling..."

The genius' hands automatically went into her hair as she ran to him, heels and all, and wrapped her arms around him. Tony had to hold back a gasp as his bruises, scrapes and sore chest protested, but didn't care. Pepper was there.

He held her for a second, not too tight, not too close, it hurt so much, and he was so tired and just wanted to go back to sleep and stay there for hours and hours and hours.

Pepper pulled back and slapped him across the face, an open handed lady's slap, all the muscles in her arms that she probably used for wrangling executives and hauling paperwork all over the tower.

Tony staggered back a little, holding his cheek, then flashed her a smile, a real one. He opened his mouth to give a witty comment about how he deserved that, but then Thor woke up.

"WHO DARES STRIKE THE MIGHTY WARRIOR?!" The blonde demigod bellowed, still half asleep, but clearly haven been woken by the sound of Pepper's hand on Tony's cheek. He struggled to his knees, kicking Steve in the process, who woke with a start and slammed into the couch, causing Bruce to shove Barton, who fell off and landed on Natasha's legs. Natasha was clearly more tired than she had let on, because instead of being totally alert instantly, she whipped out a small handgun and pointed it at Thor for a half second before realizing that it was him.

Pepper was hiding behind Tony, just a little, and he'd have to remember to tease her about that later, after the red hand print on his cheek faded some. He pulled her out gently; her holding was making his ribs and chest hurt and _ouch._

"Calm down, Point Break. It's all good. This is my girl- my, uh, maiden. Lady friend."

"Ah, yes. In Asgard, our women are indeed just as fierce as the men. Lady Sif is known for the wounds she has inflicted upon males who have insulted her. What have you done to anger the lady so?"

"Um, I almost died. And she didn't like that."

Thor laughed, a deep rumble in his chest like a storm cloud. "I am sure she did not. An honor to meet you, Lady...?"

Hesitantly, Pepper stepped a little further from Tony, and he could practically see her business face coming back on.

"Pepper. And you?"

"I am Thor, son of King Odin, Prince of Asgard and Lord of Thunder." Thor took Pepper's hand, which she had outstretched for a handshake, and raised it gently to his lips. Pepper looked at Tony in surprise, because the tall man in Stark Towers New York, which was partly destroyed, and who had just introduced himself as a god, had the manners of a medieval nobleman. Tony just smiled.

"Avengers, meet Pepper Potts, my girlfriend and co-CEO of Stark Industries. Pepper, meet Steve Rogers, otherwise known as Captain America, Doctor Bruce Banner, also the Hulk, Agent Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, and you know Agent Natasha Romanoff."

The team all nodded and shook hands and said hello. Tony yawned. "I know we only ate like, three hours ago, but I'm starving. Anyone want food?"

There were various nods and mumbles of assent. Steve started to haul himself back to his feet again and find a kitchen to cook, but Pepper nailed him in place with the CEO death glare.

"Not you. None of you move. Breakfast for dinner okay?"

Steve looked taken aback, but nodded and sat back down. Tony smiled after Pepper; he loved her so much, and he was hungry and she was making him food... He wanted to stay awake and eat, but even though the tower was starting to smell like sweet, sweet bacon, he fell asleep.

AAAAAAA

He woke up and the sun was shining through the windows. Yawning and rubbing his face where the couch had creased the skin, Tony looked around the room, only to find it completely devoid of life, superhero or otherwise.

_"Good Morning, Sir." _JARVIS's voice was his usual, nobody's-sleeping-in-this-area voice, so the tower must be empty, at least for the floor. _"It is currently 9:00 a.m, standard time. The temperature is 67 degrees, with clear skies. Captain Rogers, somewhat hesitantly, I might add, asked me to inform you that they have gone out to continue cleanup_ _and requests that you come when you are able. Miss Potts would like you to know that there are waffles with blueberries and bacon in the refrigerator on this floor."_

"Thanks, J." Tony yawned again and stretched, if anything, the night's sleep had made him more sore, not less. It felt like all his muscles had been sent through a wringer. He pulled himself out of the couch, which hurt and stumbled into the bedroom, hitting the door frame while he was at it, which made him feel like dying as every one of his muscles screamed in protest, and eventually made it into the shower, which felt like heaven as it relaxed his sore muscles a little.

Tony sat at the kitchen table, wearing only a very tight pressure suit that went under the armor when he knew he was going to be wearing it for a long time. It was, well, revealing, to say the least, but he was the only one in the tower and he was too lazy to put on other clothing.

After three cups of coffee and a plate of reheated bacon and waffles, Tony stood up.

"Workers start coming today to clean up the tower, J. Make a list for me of tech that needs repairs, starting with the landing pad and disassembly platform in the penthouse."

"_Yes, Sir."_

Tony rolled his neck, popping it, then stepped into his lab/workshop/ garage. "How we doing on suits?"

"_The Mark IX finished manufacture two hours ago, Sir. It is ready to deploy." _JARVIS responded.

He threw his arms out to his sides and grinned, even in his tired state, as the new suit wrapped around him. This was what he lived for, the thrill of something amazing created at your hands coming to life.

Three seconds later, Iron Man was shooting over the destroyed city, JARVIS pinpointing structural damage and little kids waving as he flew by. New York isn't as bad as it looked; a lot of replaced sidewalks and broken windows. A handful of skyscrapers, centering around Stark Tower, had missing floors and messed up roofing; most of the roads around it looked pretty bad, with Chitauri bodies everywhere and shattered glass and empty skeletons of cars. Thankfully, though, nothing really looked ready to collapse except one building that one of the space whale thingies seems to actually fallen on.

When he found the other Avengers, they, along with two dozen other volunteers, had made their way about three-quarters of the way down a street covered in rubble and dead Chitauri, hauling the aliens onto the bed of a huge truck and throwing rubble in a bin on the back of another truck, working their way to the building with the leviathan on it.

Tony circled once and asked JARVIS to patch him into the comm link that the team is using. Chatter filled his ears as he landed next to Barton with Iron Man's trademark half kneel.

"Good to see you, Sleeping Beauty. Glad you finally got up." He looked at Tony sideways, a small smirk on his face.

Tony did a double take, because, except that dark want-to-kill-Loki face and the confusion he showed yesterday during the reactor incident, all he's seen on Barton's face is a blank mask, either Loki's doing or his own hiding of his emotions.

"Yeah, well, I used up a lot of awesome yesterday. Takes some time to replenish. What's up here on the ground?"

"Bruce's on medical, Cap's both hauling and coordinating, and the rest of us are only here to move stuff. I think Thor finally figured out how to detach the armor from the space whales, and Fury's sending a couple choppers to help haul."

"Roger that. I'll go see if Thor needs anything. Food should be here for everyone in about an hour, by the way."

He rocketed past Steve, raising a hand in greeting as he flew by, registering with jealousy that the Super Soldier was not only hauling around Chitauri that were taking three regular people to lift without breaking a sweat, but he was already free of the bulky bandage from where he had been shot.

Thor was banging away at the nearest leviathan and grinned when he saw Tony, his whole face lighting up. "MAN OF IRON! Join me in the victorious rebuilding!"

"Hey, Point Break." Tony swept down next to the panting demigod. "How'd you get the hammer back? Thought it was containing Loki?"

"He has returned to a cage in the Helicarrier, one similar to his earlier cell, only stronger. As soon as Doctors Selvig and Banner finish the construction of the case, I will return him to Asgard." A flash of sadness crosses Thor's face. For a moment, he looks every one of his thousands of years to Tony.

"But for now, we begin anew here. We rebuild, like you mortals have for thousands of years."

"Well then." Tony motioned to the smelly, slimy, metal plated space whale draped over the building. "After you."

Thor smiled and swung his hammer with gusto, knocking a dent into the top of the metal plate.

It was only about five minutes later when Tony's HUD lit up red.

"EVERYONE OUT!" Captain America was back, even though Steve wasn't in uniform; he had only his shield slung over his back.

_"Sir, structural integrity compromised."_

"Funnily enough, J, I had picked up on that, what with the fact that it's trying to squash Steve and... is that a kid?!"

Muttering a string of curses that probably would have caused Steve to turn red and give Tony the Cap Stare (again), he fired the hand repulsors, pulling almost six times his own body weight as he pushed the suit to make it over to where Cap was. Steve had given up on outrunning the falling cement with the small child, who looked like he was starting to regret wandering over to watch them work, and was now covering the child with his body and curling as much of his own body under his shield as he could fit.

Tony wasn't going to make it he could tell. Dropping so he was only about a foot off the ground, he aimed for a nearby patch of mud that used to be a pocket park.

"J, run sequence: surface area. On my mark... three, two, one... deploy!" Just as he reached the edge of the dirt, the suit peeled itself off his body, leaving him in free fall. Tony had about half a second to curl his head and neck under his arms as he hit the ground, plowing a trench with his dangling legs, which he hadn't had time to pull in. As much as it hurt, he pulled himself up, accepting that there would be a few _more_ bruises on his body, not that too much of him wasn't bruised anymore.

Half a second, the suit reached it's target, JARVIS flying with pinpoint precision. It was now completely unfolded, the chest plate and stomach panels extended, the arms flat sheets of coin-sized titanium plates, covering almost twice as much area as it normally did. It stopped exactly over the curled soldier and the small boy, deflecting rocks and hunks of steel girder, JARVIS occasionally sending out a laser to vaporize something pointy or moving too fast to maintain suit integrity.

Ten seconds later, it was over, Cap cautiously uncurling in a small crater that sat in the center of what used to be the street but was now a pile of rubble and aliens. The boy had tears running down his cheeks, and Steve wiped them away and picked the child up, handing him off to a woman running over, also crying and politely deflecting her thanks.

Steve turned and found Tony, bruised and bleeding from the cut on his cheek (again), and met his eyes. He started over towards him, the genius shuffling awkwardly, not knowing if he was going to get chewed out for doing dangerous stunts (again) or what.

The soldier and the inventor locked eyes and just stood for a second. Then Steve scuffed a foot on the ground, looking at the soft dirt, scarred from Tony's landing. He seemed almost as embarrassed and unsure as Tony felt. "Stark." There was a pause. "Tony. Thanks."

Tony started to turn away, finding the left tracking bracelet, which he had lost in the dirt sometime during his crash landing. "Tony... I'm sorry." Steve looked back up from the ground and met Tony's gaze again, startling the genius. Cap's eyes were a blue-grey, the color of the ice he had been found in. "For, you know, what I said on the Helicarrier. About laying down on the wire. It wasn't true; you've already done it twice and I only met you two days ago. So... I'm sorry."

Whatever Tony had been expecting, that was not it. An apology? From Captain America? He took a deep breath. Usually, he would make a snarky comment and move on, but he had a feeling that wouldn't work here.

"Thanks, Cap. I'm sorry for what I said too, while we're at it. It's just years of hearing about you from..." He stopped. This was not about his father, and he was not going to talk about Howard Stark right now. "There had to be something there before the serum. I was wrong. It's not out of a bottle; it's you."

The two men stood there for a moment, regarding each other with searching eyes. Then Tony smiled and went back to finding his tracker, which he found where he initially landed, and put on the suit. There was some serious space whale to clean up.

AAAAAAA

Tony was tired. The tired that came with a long day's work, in the lab or out with the company or hauling space whale armor, yes. But also the bone-aching tiredness that reminded him a little of having the flu. A shiver ran up his spine. "J, check for Palladium in my bloodstream."

An instant passed. _"All clear, Sir."_

The genius sighed. _"_Thanks, J."

It was probably just a stress thing. He did have a team of superheroes living in his tower, after all. Or a residual thing from his space trip. Or the reactor incident. Tony put it out of his mind and went to find a hot shower. He smelled like dead whale.

**I'm so sorry this took so long... I have so much Steve whump, Tony whump, and good team stuff to put in here, but I'm struggling to hold myself in and build a base for it first! Ideas always welcomed, for anything! Please review!**


	3. Tower Life

Chapter 3: Tower Life, Art, and Sickness

Thor left with Loki the next day.

The whole team was there, not in uniform, but on high alert anyway, ready to attack if the bound god showed any sign of taking revenge. He stood by Thor, eyes burning with resigned anger and cold hate over the muzzle blocking his words, still in his leather armor, though without the helmet.

Natasha and Clint were off to the side, Clint again expressionless and wearing dark sunglasses. Natasha leaned over and whispered something in his ear, and the archer smiled. Due to the pair's job, Tony didn't really want to know what she had said, but assumed it was something sarcastic.

Steve was across from them, wearing his leather jacket and a checked shirt, looking very 1940s.

Bruce was with Tony. He had managed, the previous night, to convince the good doctor to spend a few weeks at the tower, check out the equipment, work in the labs. Finally, the man had accepted, despite reservations about the Hulk and his upsetting appearances.

Steve had also agreed to stay at the tower, but Natasha and Clint had decided to remain at SHIELD, at least for now. They would consider his offer. Thor knew he was welcome in the tower, but was unsure if he could return from Asgard; the Bifrost (which Tony still didn't understand- it drove him crazy trying to figure out the math) was still broken and the only ways to travel were either dangerous, like the Tesseract, or costly in terms of energy, like how Thor had been sent to Midgard to reclaim his brother.

Thor faced Loki and extended the case with the Tesseract slightly. Loki took it grudgingly, and the brothers vanished in a column of gold and blue light.

Several seconds passed. The Avengers, now down a member stood, facing each other, then turned and left, Steve on his bike (which he had refused to let Tony modify with rockets and repulsors yesterday), Natasha and Clint in a black SHIELD car. The geniuses turned and headed off in Tony's red Ferrari.

When they got back to the tower, they found that Steve had beat them there. He was standing in the garage part of the workshop, where the usable, not in pieces or being reworked, cars lived. Leaning on his motorcycle, he was the image of total hotness, Tony noted with a smirk.

Tony got out of the car carefully- he still ached that deep bone ache- and headed off with one of Bruce's bags, the physicist himself and the super soldier following behind.

"Welcome to the lab, Bruce." Tony could hardly contain a laugh at the awe on Bruce's face as JARVIS slid open the door (which Tony had asked him to make opaque, for the sake of dramatic effect) and revealed the lab. It was only the ground lab, so no windows, cement floors, only one MRI and CATscan machine, and a few workbenches.

"C'mon, the fun stuff's upstairs." Tony swore internally, because the Avengers were punching holes in his toughness and looking at Bruce's smile and Steve's confusion at the state of the art tech made him want to grin like an idiot.

"There's more? I mean, I feel like I shouldn't be surprised, but..." Bruce trailed off as Tony shepherded him and Steve into the elevator.

"J, stop at Steve's floor first, he can get situated and avoid the science amazingness if he wants."

"_Yes, Sir." _

The elevator whooshed upwards and just over thirty seconds later, stopped again.

"Getting slow, J! That was nearly two seconds slower!" Tony laughed, taunting his AI. JARVIS may have been a machine, technically, but he was as close to human as possible and if anyone said otherwise, Tony was willing to fight to the death to defend his friend.

_"I believe you started timing early, Sir."_ Somehow, JARVIS made it sound sarcastic and respectful at the same time. _"And you promised not to cheat."_

The elevator suddenly dropped about a foot, causing Steve to grab onto the railing and give Tony a look (not the Captain America Glare of Doom, but a close cousin), and Bruce to startle violently.

"NOT nice, J. You win this time. Should have known I couldn't have gotten away with it."

There wasn't an answer, but the elevator made a humming noise and rose again back to it's previous height, the doors opening into an atrium.

"This is yours, Steve." Tony interjected. "There's no buttons in the elevator, J'll take care of it. Feel free to go up to the floor we were on yesterday; it's the official Avengers rec floor."

The doors closed on the stunned soldier and the elevator shot off. Steve looked around at the antechamber, with the wood paneled flooring and the antique (for modern times, fairly modern for him) radio by the tasteful couch. He wandered into the bedroom on the left, where he found a little more twenty first century- four poster bed big enough to hold him comfortably. The walls were a light blue, with white ceilings and a soft carpet. One wall was entirely glass and overlooked the city, giving Steve a gorgeous view of New York, even in it's ruined state.

The bathroom connected to the bedroom; it was simple, nothing to crazy (at least at first look).

Steve kept exploring, finding the small kitchen next on the other side of the entryway.

The room was perfect, a balance of old and new, very much like Steve himself. There was a small box on the bed that contained a sketchbook and a small sampling of art supplies with a note. The handwriting was both messy and precise, and just screamed "Tony". It read: "Steve, I know you liked art. Tell me if you want anything else."

How could he want anything else? This one floor was bigger than his whole apartment back in Brooklyn. He had eaten more for breakfast today than he had sometimes had for a few days back in the war. Tony had given him _art supplies_, for God's sake, something that he had never had in abundance, even as a kid when he couldn't run or play and drawing was all he had to do.

Somehow, he would make it up to this man who had given him so much but took back so little.

AAAAAAA

When Bruce and Tony got out of the elevator, Bruce gasped again. This was perfect.

It was the main lab, the walls lined with glass cases containing the Iron Man suits. All nine of them were lined up, including the one that Tony had worn in the Battle of Manhattan. Only the first case was empty, containing instead a small model of a crude, metal suit that looked like it had been cobbled together from random plates of steel.

The rest of the room was massive. It must have taken up the whole floor, and the floor above, because the ceiling was double height. Everything was stainless steel and glass and cement, and equipment littered the floor. Several medium-ish robots skidded over when Tony walked in and squealed around his feet. Bruce recognized one of them as Dummy, the bot from the reactor incident.

It was a scientist's gold mine.

Bruce knew it had to be Tony's personal lab. And this was a silent offer to share it.

"Wow. This is... Wow." He tried. There wasn't really anything to say about the perfection of the room. Tony laughed.

"Come see your rooms." Tony all but dragged Bruce back into the elevator and they were off again. Tony dropped Bruce at his rooms, which were a perfect mirror of Steve's rooms except with different colors and accents and a digital notepad explaining the placement of the holograms and the keycodes and locations of all the Stark labs, along with a side comment that JARVIS would want a hand scan for most of the labs, so get his prints in the system ASAP.

It also contained the floor plans for the basement level of the tower, which Tony had had converted several years ago into a sort of rumpus room. He and Pepper had bought an old system of subway lines that ran under the tower, which he then modified, so the whole thing was reinforced and soundproof and incredibly sturdy. And, now, Hulk-proof.

The doors closed behind a stunned Bruce and Tony sank to the elevator floor. His stomach was rolling, and he felt like he was going to throw up and he was so, so tired.

_"Sir?_" JARVIS asked in a voice that was perfectly modulated, worry overriding his usual empty tones.

"'m fine, J. Just tired. Drop me on the rec floor, keep an eye out for Natasha and Clint. And Pepper."

_"Shall I send Butterfingers with a smoothie, Sir?"_

Tony didn't really feel like eating at all, but he probably should and Butterfingers took a lot of pride in his smoothie-making abilities.

"Sure. Tell him to run protocol:surprise. He might need a little guidance; last time we tried that was when he put the motor oil in."

There was a small hum that was JARVIS's equivalent of laughter as the doors slid open on the Avenger's floor. Down the hall one way was a set of rooms for everyone, to keep extra kit in if they didn't want it in their own rooms or on their person, plus more beds in case they needed them.

The kitchen opened onto the big living space, with a large island and several chairs. There were a multitude of couches and squashy loungers, a large television, and a fireplace. Tony couldn't remember ordering the fireplace, but you never knew. Maybe they'd need it sometime.

The exhausted genius flopped onto the L-shaped couch. He'd just chill here for a bit, drink his smoothie, and head to bed. Or back to work, it was only late afternoon, and he had science to do and he was just so tired and his bones all ached and the reactor was glowing and Butterfingers was covering him with a blanket and it was warm and...

AAAAAAA

When he woke up, it was dark outside the tower. It smelled like chicken and rice and some unidentifiable Indian spice that meant Bruce was probably the one cooking.

"What time is it?" He directed into the air, knowing J would hear him.

" 'bout seven." Steve's voice came from behind him and he jumped. He hadn't even noticed the big man sitting there, holding the sketchbook that Tony had left in his room.

"I slept for three hours?" Tony was shocked. He never took naps, but at least he felt... well, not better, really, his stomach was still feeling not good, but at least he was less tired.

"Yeah." Steve chuckled lightly. "It was quiet."

Tony leaned over and punched him, and immediately regretted it because _owwwww_ Steve had rock-hard muscles and Tony's muscles were still half asleep and not functioning properly. "What are you drawing?"

Kindly ignoring the fact that he had probably just crippled Tony's hand for life with his damn super abilities of sitting and doing nothing, Steve turned a little red and clutched the sketchbook to his chest.

"Pleeeeeaaaasssseeee? I got you art supplies..." Tony brought out the puppy-chocolate-melting eyes that he reserved (usually) for when Pepper wanted him to do something not fun, like board meetings or paperwork.

There was a sigh. "Fine." Tony pulled Butterfinger's blanket up around his shoulders, carefully avoiding knocking over the smoothie on the floor next to the couch, and took the sketchbook.

Steve had drawn him.

Bruce, too, as Tony saw when he turned the page. The physicist was in the kitchen, where Steve must have done the simple pencil drawing. He was at the stove with a pan of something cooking, pointing a spoon threateningly directly at where Steve would have been, his semi-serious action negated by the laugh in his eyes and on his lips, evident even in the rough sketch.

But Tony's picture... It was like Steve had taken his _soul_ and smoothed it onto the page.

Tony was sleeping. Only his head and torso were complete, and part of the couch, the end of his body and the rest of the room deteriorating the further away from his head they went. He had his arms tucked up into the blanket, which was pulled protectively around his shoulder, his spine pressed into the back of the couch. The only color in the picture was Tony's arc reactor, just visible through the fabric, and somehow Steve had made it a shimmery blue that exactly matched the real one embedded in Tony's sternum.

His face, though... his face was tired and wan, lined gently around his eyes and the corners of his mouth from years of stress and work. But somehow, Steve had sketched his face so it looked peaceful and still and relaxed, not at all like he felt sick and weary and stressed.

It was stunning.

"This is amazing..." Tony wasn't sure how to voice his thoughts. It was incredible, the drawing, but also a little uncomfortable and slightly scary, to have his inner being laid out like that, in perfect balance between the good and the bad.

Steve turned pink again, but smiled a little as he took back the sketchbook.

"Time to eat!" Bruce called out from the kitchen.

Tony threw off the blankets, standing up and not knocking over the smoothie... and his stomach rebelled.

Thirty seconds later, he was in the bathroom, feeling like he was trying to throw up his small intestine because his stomach had been empty except a little smoothie and he felt so nauseated it was ridiculous.

Bruce was there, humiliatingly, and so was Steve. Awesome.

Tony felt like he should care more that two of the people from his new team, who's respect he feels like he has finally gained, are standing watching as he heaves into the toilet, but he's so tired again, that deep fatigue, and his bones ache and it's just so not fun that he doesn't care.

A cool hand pressed against his cheek. Bruce.

"What's wrong, Tony?" Tony only shook his head. He didn't know. Exhausted, he leaned back on whatever was behind him... Were those Steve's legs...?

"I don't know. I'm just really tired... and I don't feel so hot. Even though I know I still look stunning." He accepted the glass of water that Steve had magically procured and was offering from above him, swirling some through his mouth and spitting it out before taking a few cautious sips.

"You should probably go back to bed." Bruce's hands touched his forehead, making Tony think of the few times his mother was there when he was sick as a child. "It's probably just a stress reaction. Your body is working too hard."

Again, Tony thought that maybe he should argue, but he really was tired still and Pepper would kill him if he argued with Bruce, who did have some medical training, after all. He nodded.

Tony took a deep breath and started to work himself to his feet, but before he could get there, he was lifted gently back onto his feet and one of his arms was slung over Steve's shoulder.

He was pretty much asleep again before he was back in bed, but not before hearing a soft, " 'night, Tony. Get better." and feeling someone pull the blankets up to his shoulders.

**Please send suggestions! I have so many things I want the Avengers to have to bond with as Tony gets sicker but most of them revolve around Steve and I don't want it to be exclusive of the rest of the Avengers! Please give me your ideas!**


	4. Steve and Peggy

**WARNING: PART OF THIS (in the middle) IS ALMOST EXACTLY FROM CAP AMERICA: TWS! No major plot spoilers, but if you really care about getting everything from the movie, skip the middle!**

Chapter 4: Steve and Peggy

When Tony woke up, it was already light out. He frowned at the walls for a moment before his brain caught back up to its normal speed and informed him that Steve had just poured him into one of the spare rooms on the Avenger's communal floor instead of in his usual bedroom the night before.

(Admittedly, that room got very little use for actual sleeping; usually, Tony's sleep schedule revolved around staying up for more than twenty four hours with lots of espresso and Butterfingers' smoothies until he crashed and fell asleep on the couch. Or J locked him out of the lab or Pepper found him and threatened him with responsibility and paperwork until he was at least on the upstairs lounger.)

He felt better today. That tired ache was gone, and he no longer felt like he was going to throw up if he moved. And he was starving. And he smelled bacon.

Tony pulled himself out of the bed and found a small pile of clothing on the chair. Clearly, Pepper had been here, because it was one of his polo shirts, which she claimed made him look both attractive and more like he actually did something to run the business besides oversee the Research and Development department and upgrade printers with new laser technology, which had almost resulted in a new intern loosing a few fingers while trying to change the ink cartridge without asking for direction.

When he walked into the kitchen, Steve was washing out (by hand) the bowl he had made batter in and there was a pile of pancakes that extended across several plates.

"Hey, Cap, you know that the dishwasher is next to you, right? JARVIS can take care of that if you want to eat. He enjoys washing dishes, finds it relaxing."

Cap shot him a glance that was both amused and slightly questioning, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to believe Tony or not, then carefully opened the dishwasher and put the bowl inside.

"Good to see you feeling better, Tony." Steve nodded at someone behind the genius as he spoke, and Tony turned to see Pepper and Bruce entering together, apparently just having finished a conversation, which made Tony nervous because it was probably about him and his getting sick yesterday.

Pepper came over and slid onto a stool next to Tony, giving Steve a "good morning" and pushing the blueberries closer to Tony. They ate in silence for a few moments. Then Pepper stood and kissed Tony on the cheek.

"Right, I have to go. See you in a week?"

He turned into her and wrapped her in a hug, returning her kiss, except on the lips. Breaking the kiss, he rested his chin on her hair. "Right. Have fun in Tokyo, don't get into any trouble."

Pepper gave him a look and turned to Steve. "Keep an eye on him, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned in her heels and clicked out of the room.

Steve smirked slightly at Tony, then went back to his sketchbook. Tony reached under the man's arm and attempted to steal the object of Steve's attention.

"Hey!" Steve sort of protested. "Give it..." He trailed off, apparently resigned to Tony's scrutiny of his drawings.

The face on the page was a young Peggy Carter, younger than the one Tony remembered a little of, from when she had still been friends with his father.

"I had forgotten that she wore that red lipstick all the time," Tony said quietly. "I asked her once why she always had it on, when I was four or five. She told me it was so that she always looked nice in case she met someone out and about."

Steve and Tony locked eyes for a moment, then Steve looked away.

"You loved her a lot, didn't you," Bruce asked softly. It wasn't a question, not really, because both he and Tony could see it in Steve's eyes; the heartbreak of losing someone he cared for. To Steve, it hadn't even been a year since he went down in the ice, since he had been fighting in one of the most brutal wars the United States had ever been involved in, lost his best friend, the love of his life, and everyone else he knew.

"Yes. I did. And I still do, even if..." Steve trailed off, letting Tony wonder. "How did you know her, Tony?"

"My father. They stayed friends, after you went down. She helped him look for you, for a while. She was a good role model for me, growing up, especially when my father was-" Tony stopped abruptly. He still didn't really want to talk to Steve about his father and how he had constantly compared Tony to the lost soldier. "When I was nine or ten, she got angry with him, left, and I never saw her again. I think she wrote to my mother a few times after that. But I don't really know."

Steve took a deep breath. "I've visited her a lot times. I have an apartment in D.C., from SHIELD. She's in a nursing home there. Haven't been in a while."

"Do you want to go today?" Tony's not sure where the words came from.

There was so much hope and sadness in Steve's face. He looked at Tony, a little questioning, then nodded. "Can we?"

"Right, plane leaves in a hour. Pack whatever you want, we'll be back by tonight."

AAAAAAA

Two hours later, they were standing in the hall of a small, private nursing home in D.C. Bruce had excused himself from this part of the "field trip" and was visiting a hospital that was looking into some new research. Steve seemed to be bracing himself for something, but Tony wasn't quite sure for what.

They entered the room.

"Hello, Peggy."

The old, wrinkled lady in the bed didn't look anything like the Peggy Tony remembered. She had no makeup and her hair had turned a light grey with age. But when she heard Steve's voice, she lit up.

"Steve! I was wondering if you were going to visit me again. SHIELD keeping you busy?" There was a twinkle in her eyes that made Tony wonder if she knew about the New York incident and what Cap had been doing for the last few days.

"Yeah, same old, same old. Saving the world and all, just a swell job." Tony felt like laughing at Steve's 40s slang, but then Peggy saw him behind Steve.

"Tony? Look at you, all grown up." Tony really did laugh at this, because he is a grown man and has been for some time, no matter what Pepper says. "You laugh, but the last time I saw you, you were only half my height. You were smarter than I was, though. No matter what your father said."

Tony saw Steve look his way with a question in his eyes, but ignored it. "I missed you,

Peggy. It's been a while."

"Well, sit down, both of you, and tell me about New York."

So they do. Nearly half an hour later, they finish the story with Tony falling out of the portal (which still gives him little cold tremors just thinking about it) and taking Loki into SHIELD custody.

"...and then yesterday was just some initial clean-up work, with the dead Chitauri and the rubble in the city."

Peggy smiled, the wrinkles around her mouth creasing. "Sounds like you learned something about being in a team. I could always trust you to do what was right, Steve."

Tony looked away to give the two separated lovers a moment, scanning the photos on the table. Peggy and one of the Howling Commandos, the man in dress uniform, Peggy in a wedding dress. Half a dozen children. More weddings and grandchildren.

When she started coughing, he looked back, slightly alarmed, but Steve was already getting a glass of water. He turned back around and gave her a small smile as he held it out.

"Steve...? Steve? Your alive... you came back." There was so much hope in Peggy's voice.

As Tony watched, Steve's face shattered for an instant, falling into sadness. Then he forced a smile for her, but there was a world of pain and heartbreak in his eyes that he couldn't hide. "Yeah, Peggy."

"It's been so long... so long." Peggy was beginning to cry.

"Well, I couldn't leave my best girl. Not when she owes me a dance." Steve took Peggy's small hands in his own large ones, rubbing them. As quietly as possible, Tony got up and left. This was something he shouldn't be seeing, Steve, _Captain America, _with that heart-wrenching smile and old eyes.

Steve came out of the room twenty minutes later. Tony stood and they started down the hall. "So now you know." Steve said quietly. "On a bad day, she forgets who I am three or four times."

Tony said nothing, just puts an hand on his friend's (friend? Yes, Steve was a friend) shoulder.

AAAAAAA

Back on the plane, Bruce and Tony do science. It's his default setting, really, and he blamed Bruce for getting him all excited about gamma particle movement in a broad -range spectrum.

Steve just looked confused. "I'm pretty sure you're doing math, but... I have no idea what you are doing."

"Come on, you must have learned some of this in school." Tony couldn't imagine anyone not being able to do even a little math.

"Tony, I was a kid in the Great Depression, remember? I didn't go to school. I got a little homeschooling from my mother and father, before they died, and a little from a Father at the church down the street who had initially worked at a high school."

There was an awkward moment of silence as Bruce and Tony tried to re-remember that Steve, Captain America, was still a young man, only twenty two or twenty three, and that he had grown up in a time where an education wasn't as accessible as it was in the twenty-first century.

Finally, Bruce found his voice. "Do you want to learn?"

To his amazement, Tony found himself nodding. "We could find you a college in New York... you could take art classes too, get caught up on all that good school stuff everyone needs, like how to use a semicolon and the stages of mitosis."

Bruce elbowed him in the ribs. "I find the stages of mitosis very helpful, thank you."

"Well, we can't all study bio-whatevers." Tony dismissed Bruce with a teasing wave. "How about it, Cap?"

Steve nodded. "I think... I could at least try it. Learn something new. Like an ordinary student."

They sat quietly for a few moments. Tony was again struck by how _tired_ he was. Recently, had zero extra energy, which concerned him, frankly, but he was more than willing to put it down to stress because he _hated_ doctors and hospitals, even before Afghanistan, although that hadn't made it any better... smells and sounds and the fear of so much pain...

"Tony. Tony." Steve's voice popped into the front of his brain.

"Hmmmm?" Tony pulled himself out of the past and swiveled to face the concerned soldier.

"You okay?"

"Yeah... just tired. And my back hurts." Tony hadn't realized how much until that moment. And now that he thought about it, it had been that way for a while. Weeks.

"Where?" Bruce, the physicist and sort of medic asked. It was looking more and more like he was going to be the Avenger's unofficial medical man for a while, especially since nobody in their little band really liked admitting to wounds .

"Lower back, mostly on the right." Tony stretched the area in question, wincing slightly at the pull.

"When was the last time you actually got a medical checkup, Tony?" Bruce was giving him the doctor look and Steve appeared to be about three seconds away from pulling the Captain America Authority stare (he really needed a shorter name... the CAAS? He'd just make it an acronym for now).

"Ummm... Sort of when I got back from Afghanistan... Jarvis keeps an eye on my vitals, though we haven't done blood tests in almost two years, except Palladium scans, which don't actually involve blood anymore." Tony braced himself. "So, three years or so?"

"Three YEARS? You haven't had an actual checkup in three years?!" Bruce looked exasperated, but not too surprised.

Tony sighed. "Yeah. After Afghanistan, doctors just..." A little tremor ran through him. "I just don't like hospitals."

Steve looked confused. "What happened in Afghanistan?" Tony knew Steve really didn't know, since Tony himself had gone through and taken most of his own information out of the file SHIELD kept. (It had really been fairly elementary; SHIELD needed to get a software update, or something.)

"Bad stuff that I don't want to talk about." And he really didn't, because that would involve thinking about his chest being hacked into without anesthetics, and getting water boarded, and Yinsen...

And as much as he already trusted Steve, he wasn't going to talk about it. Not yet. Besides, the rest of the team would have to find out eventually, and he'd rather tell them all at once.

Somewhat surprisingly, Steve nodded and didn't ask again.

AAAAAAA

When they arrived back at Stark (soon to be officially Avenger) Tower, Clint and Natasha were there. Tony didn't say a word, unusual for him, and ignored the bleak look on Clint's face and the way Natasha was looking around the room like she was going to stab the first person who said anything about her fellow spy.

He was going to assume it had been a bad day.

Tony showed them to their rooms, although he was assuming that they would end up together in one or the other of the suites.

Back upstairs in the common area, Bruce cornered him. Literally. As soon as Tony stepped out of the elevator, Bruce was right in front of him, startling the genius, who took several steps into an easy-to-defend position next to the fireplace before kicking his brain into logical though again.

"You're a scary man, you know that? Even if I didn't know about the green giant thing."

Bruce smiled at that, just a little, which made Tony happy because usually there wasn't a whole lot of smiling going on when anyone talked about the Hulk, especially around the physicist.

"You have a checkup, Tony. Tomorrow morning." Tony opened his mouth to protest; hadn't he just told Bruce about his unfortunate aversion to doctors? And hospitals? And most medical-y things? He was pretty sure he had.

Before he could protest, Bruce kept talking. "Everyone else is getting one, too. If we're going to be working together, and if I'm going to be medical system in any form, I need to know. And if it's any consolation, we're doing them at SHIELD, so at least it's not an ordinary medical wherever."

Tony opened his mouth to argue again. Bruce interrupted. Again. "And I called Pepper and she gave me the go-ahead."

The genius scowled. "Fine. I'll get the damn checkup." But that didn't mean he was going to have to like it.

**REVIEW! Please I need more! Without feedback, I'm just sort of drifting in space... Any thoughts on next chapter's drama? Anything?**


	5. A History Lesson and a Bad Surprise

Chapter 5: A History Lesson and a Bad Surprise

Tony Stark was not a happy camper.

The physical part of the check had been okay. Sort of. The rest of the team was there too, doing their exams, so he wasn't alone. He had caught the look of surprise on the SHIELD nurse's face when he had easily cleared the SHEILD base regulations for push ups, pull ups, and muscle density.

Then things had gone downhill. The mean nurse had wanted him to do sit ups. He had had to explain that that was physically impossible, which ended in him having to actually take off his shirt so she could see the arc reactor for herself. Which would now be common knowledge all over SHEILD.

After that, they had to run. It was only five miles, but Tony was surprised at how tired he was when he was finished. His time was as good as ever, but it seemed to take much more energy than usual, and that concerned him.

Then the mean nurse told them that the last part of the test was a swimming proficiency test.

"No." Tony stated flatly.

"What do you mean, Mr Stark." It came out as a blank statement, not a question, as if the nurse had just been waiting this whole time for Tony to refuse to do something.

"I don't go in water."

"Why not?" She had pulled out the digital clipboard that had all of his information on it, writing "refusal to complete swimming test". He would have to ask JARVIS to delete that from his file later.

"I can swim. I just choose to avoid it." Tony looked over at the team with a "tell you later" expression and Steve nodded.

"Wait here. The rest of us will swim." The nurse sighed and looked down her nose at Tony, then nodded and directed the others to locker rooms.

AAAAAAA

"Okay, Tony, spill. What's with the aquaphobia?" Clint was throwing rolled up bits of paper at Tony with his impeccable aim.

They were sitting around in Clint's rooms on the Helicarrier. Due to a mix-up, their actual medical checkups had been delayed for several hours.

The genius sighed. He had hoped they would let him get away with not answering, but clearly that wasn't going to happen. _Might as well tell them the whole story._

"Fine. But you have to promise, this goes nowhere." He looked at the two spies. They nodded assent, as did everyone else, and Tony began.

"First, you should know a few things. When this starts, Pepper and I weren't together yet. My parents had died years earlier in a car accident because my father was driving drunk, so I had started running the company at the age of twenty one. Until then, it had been under the stewardship of one Obadiah Stane, a businessman who worked with my father and who I respected very much."

Steve looked upset and opened his mouth, probably to ask about Howard, but Tony cut him off. "Questions later, Steve. And that's a story for another time." Steve still looked troubled, but nodded.

"So, at the time, Stark Industries made weapons, and only weapons. I was a jerk, I didn't care that people were dying because of my creations, my ideas, I only cared about gambling and drinking and making more money, and weapons were an effective way of keeping the business alive. So there I was in Afghanistan, doing a weapons presentation on a missile called the Jericho. Smart stuff, actually a series of mini-missiles for targeting in the hills."

Clint and Natasha nodded. The part about SI only making weapons was old news, at least to SHIELD, along with some general knowledge about Tony's announcement after his return.

"So we finished, got into a Humvee, started driving to a different site." Tony knew he was staring off into space, but he couldn't help it. "There was a kid, his name was Jimmy. We were taking a picture, one of the guys in the front was going to snap it... then gunshots, grenades. Our Humvee was punched full of holes, Jimmy and the rest got out to fight and were shot. I wasn't thinking, I ran from the car, tried to get on my phone, not really sure why. A missile landed next to me." Tony closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked at his team.

"It had my name on it."

There was a heartbeat of silence.

"It exploded, and then everything got sort of hazy... I remember it hurt a lot, and I pulled open my shirt, and I was bleeding through the bulletproof vest. I passed out for a while, sort of woke up with a gun to my head and a video camera in front of me and someone talking in an Middle Eastern language."

Tony stood, because _Oh, God, I can't talk about this, I can't I can't I can't. _He gave himself about three seconds to panic, then pulled it back together. Taking a deep breath, he continued.

"I had surgery, I was tied to the table... they had a saw and half a dozen knives... got a little shrapnel out, then cut a few ribs to fit the casing in..."

He turned around from where he had been speaking to the wall. Shame and fear and memories turn into defiance. He is Tony Stark and if he was going to trust his team, he was going to face them while he did it. The Avengers all wore expressions of shock and alarm, but Bruce looked _furious_

"They cut a hole in your chest? What did they have for antiseptic? Anesthetics?"

Tony laughed, a harsh, grating laugh. "They didn't, Bruce. They put it in when I was awake." It flashed through his brain, making all his muscles tighten, the memory of the pain and the saw and men holding him down and it hurt so badly and pain painpainpain...

"You were _awake?" _A shudder rolled through the physicist's body and his eyes flashed green. Everyone waited, tense, ready to spring into action if it became clear they needed to get Bruce out. He took some deep breaths, and slowly his eyes faded back into their normal chocolate. He nodded at Tony to continue.

"They had chloroform, but you know. Terrorists, the more pain, the better. They knocked me out at the end.

"When I woke up, I had a titanium hole in my chest connected to a car battery. Yinsen was there. He told me he was a doctor, had helped put this in my chest." Tony rubbed the reactor. "He told me that there was shrapnel in my chest and in the walls of my heart. Yinsen came from a terrorist-plagued village called Gulmira- he'd seen it before. It was called the walking dead, because usually the victims only had about a week before the shrapnel killed them.

"Just after that, a few of the terrorists came in. The one in charge introduced himself as Raza. They told me they wanted me to build something for them. A Jericho missile. I refused."

"You WHAT?" Clint burst out suddenly. "Tony, that is not the best way to work against a captor!"

"How well I know. They decided that they could persuade me to change my mind." Tony swallowed thickly. "Waterboarding being their method of choice."

Tony could hear Natasha explaining to Steve what waterboarding was; it hadn't been a common practice in the 1940s, but as soon as Tony finished forcing the words out, it had poured back into his mind. _He was drowning, drowning on dry land, his feet on the ground, his head shoved into a tub of dirty water until he couldn't hold his breath another minute and sucked water into his lungs. Going limp, head pulled out, a second to try to cough up some of the water and pull in some air, then back into the tub...there was no air, there was no air and the wires were sparking and he was going to drown..._

_"_Tony. Tony, look at me. Tony, it's going to be okay. Look at me, we're in Clint's apartment. You're totally safe." The memory faded from Tony's vision and Steve slowly came into focus, kneeling on the floor in front of Tony. The genius was on his knees, even though he didn't remember falling. His chest was heaving, and even now he felt like there wasn't enough air to breathe.

Tony pulled himself up and into the chair he had been sitting in earlier. He opened his mouth to keep talking but Steve cut him off. "Just wait a minute, Tony. We have time." Tony nodded at him, and spent a few more moments pulling oxygen into his body before he kept going.

"So eventually, I wised up. I said yes, I would build them a missile. With Yinsen's help, I made the first arc reactor, put it in my chest. Then I built a suit. Mark I. It was a piece of junk, made of missile parts and scrap metal. The last day, we got ready to escape. Yinsen was sealing me in the suit, we could hear them coming..." Tony trailed off, then shook his head. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think about Yinsen, but it still hurt all the same.

"If he had stuck to the plan... We rigged the door, it blew up. Yinsen grabbed a gun, said he was going to buy me some time, ran off. I couldn't follow him, I was in the suit, it was still loading the software 'cause the computer was ancient. Eventually booted up, blasted my way out. I found him at the mouth of the cave. He warned me, Raza was waiting and tried to shoot me, but I got him with a missile.

"Yinsen had a dozen bullet holes in him. I told him to get up, we had to go, he had to see his family. He told me that his family was all dead... he was going to be with them." A single tear ran down Tony's cheek. "He told me not to waste my life... he died in my arms."

Tony put his face in his hands. He wouldn't cry. But he needed a minute. Voice still muffled, he kept going. "I killed them all. Escaped into the desert, crash landed, staggered around for a day or so, then Rhodey found me. He had never stopped looking."

He looked up. "So that's the aquaphobia. Anyway, got back to the States, announced that Stark Industries would no longer be making weapons. Made a better arc reactor, made a new suit, took out some terrorists, frustrated Rhodey. Then a couple months later, Obadiah came. He paralyzed me with a short term tazer, something we had built in SI but never taken to market. Obie told me that he had built his own suit, he was going to get Pepper, because Pepper had found out that Obie had been the one who had paid the terrorists to kidnap me in the first place. Obie had been dealing under the table for years, wanted me out of the way so he could run the company."

Tony got mad all over again just thinking about it, and that fueled him so he could keep going. "He pulled the reactor out of my chest and left me to die."

He didn't look at his team, just finished quickly. "Long story short, I used the old reactor, kicked butt, and told the world I was Iron Man. Later found out that the Palladium in the reactor was poisoning me, created a new element with the help of SHIELD and one Natalie Rushman"- Tony nodded at Natasha- "and now all of my reactors run on Starkanium. Starkanium good, Palladium bad. No me gusta."

It was quiet for a few moments, then before anyone could say anything, there was a knock on the door. A SHIELD agent poked his head in. "Mr Stark, your doctor will see you now. And you Agent Barton," the agent added coldly.

Clint stood stiffly, nodding at the Agent. If all the SHIELD people didn't straighten up soon and figure out that the whole Loki thing wasn't Barton's fault, Tony was going to have some loud and profane words with Director Fury.

Tony headed off to his assigned room and found, to his displeasure, the mean nurse waiting.

AAAAAAA

Tony was starting to get very worried. The mean nurse had drawn what felt like several quarts of blood, although he was perfectly aware it was nowhere near that much. They had asked him all the usual questions, then vanished to run the blood tests, assuring him that it would take only half an hour or so, due to SHIELD's advanced medical technology.

It had been an hour and fifteen minutes before the doctor came into the room. When Tony saw her, he immediately started worrying. Inwardly, at least. He knew that doctors only ever came back to tell you the bad news.

"Mr Stark, we are detecting some abnormalities in your blood tests. You have extremely high levels of Alpha-fetoprotein in your blood tests. We ran them three times, with the same results."

The SHIELD doctor (Tony thinks she introduced herself as Dr Ley, but he can't remember right now, he's busy convincing himself that it's a not a good idea to call a suit and get the hell out) continues.

"We'd like to do some more tests, just to be sure what we're looking at. Obviously, we can't do an MRI, not with that trinket in your chest, but a CT scan might be in order. Is that all right?"

Tony nodded, because what could he do, really? "Is my team done?" He finally thought to ask, while stripping down to change back into a repulsive hospital gown. At least it has a back.

Dr Ley nodded. "Tests normal, everything checked out okay. Ready to go?" Tony had finished changing, and they leave his room for a bigger lab, with a MRI, CT scan, and several other huge pieces of medical equipment. Tony had to sit down and get an IV with tracker dye, so they could see his insides better.

An hour and a half later, Dr Ley shook his shoulder, waking him up. It couldn't have taken more than twenty five minutes, but Tony had fallen asleep in the machine. He woke up less tired, but still with less energy than he was used to.

He got to change back into regular clothing (Thank God) and then sat in a deep bucket chair while Dr Ley got his results.

As soon as she came in the room, Tony knew it was bad. All her body language was screaming out that Tony's life was going to go to hell pretty fast.

"Come on, Doc, I can tell something's wrong." He looks at her.

She sighs and answers him. "You have liver cancer. Primary. Late enough to be dangerous." Even though Tony was pretty sure she was still talking to him, he's not listening anymore.

Cancer. Cancer. He had cancer. This couldn't be happening to him. Stark men are made of iron. They don't get sick. They don't get life-threatening diseases. He had thought it was palladium poisining, but this was so much worse. There wasn't a cure for this. It explained the tiredness, the back pain, the little weight he had already started to loose.

"-ark. Mr. Stark. Tony. Look at me." Dr Ley had moved around the desk and was now facing him from another bucket chair. "Don't panic. It sounds awful, but we can try to fix it, okay? There are things we can do to make this better." She held up a file. "This has all of your test results in it." Pulling out a page, she showed him the CT scan image. "See the tumor? The bigger one there, and the small one?"

Tony nodded, taking as deep a breath as possible. "What can I do?"

Dr Ley looked at him approvingly, as if she knew he could pull himself together. They discuss options for a bit, and if Tony trails off every once in a while to panic about his future, Dr Ley didn't say anything.

"So my best bet for now is chemotherapy? Followed by surgery? And more chemo?"

"Yes." Dr Ley confirms. "But I suggest you sleep on it first. Talk it over with your team if you want, or Miss Potts." Apparently his and Pepper's recent relationship was not as secret as he thought it was. She gave him a smile as he stood up to leave, taking the file with him. "Call me if you would like to talk, Mr Stark."

Tony looked at her. "Tony." She nodded, and he left.

His teammates were waiting for him outside the office. Just as Tony could tell that Dr Ley had bad news, Bruce could tell that Tony had bad news. But that might have just been the fact that his "checkup" had taken about four hours longer than all of theirs. "What's wrong?"

He took a deep breath. No matter what, his life was about to change dramatically.

"I have cancer."

**THERE! IT HAPPENED! Let me know if you have opinions about where this should go now! And just in general, should this end up with a character death or not? I'm not sure what is going to happen, and I'd like a sampling of public opinion.**


	6. Cancer and Chocolate

Chapter 6: Cancer and Chocolate

Tony got out of the car wordlessly. There wasn't anything else for him to say, not really, which was a first for him. He had told them everything about him, what had happened that made it so hard to trust people.

Before the team had time to even get out of the car, Tony was in the elevator, the silver steel doors closing whisper silently behind him. "Lab, J" he managed to get out of his mouth.

The elevator started moving and he sank to the floor again, wrapping his arms around his body, the body that was betraying him. When the doors opened, he stood shakily and pulled himself out of the car. The genius dragged his favorite chair into the middle of the workshop and sat down.

"JARVIS, initiate protocol: apocalypse." The words sounded muted; he had never thought that he would be saying them. They were a last resort, an end of the world ploy to gain time. There was a moment of hesitation as JARVIS began running the years-old program. Steel reinforced panels slid over the glass walls of the shop, soundproof panels spread across the already-reinforced ceiling. The huge room became a titanium and steel cage, meant to keep out the rest of the world.

Never in a million years did Tony imagine that the enemy he would be trying to fight wouldn't be out in the world, it would be inside him. He had come to terms with the Arc Reactor in his chest; it was saving his life, as invasive as it was.

The cancer, it was something different, it was his own body fighting him, fighting years of abuse before Afghanistan and the subsequent period of palladium poisoning afterward.

Tony sat and stared off into space, trying to quell the panic that was rising again, for nearly an hour, until a small touch on his cheek made him flinch back to the present.

Dummy was there, his claw outstretched. J had probably sent him over. The other bots were behind Dummy, chirping with concern and whirring at him. Tony smiled a little. Butterfingers had a smoothie, was holding it out. The genius took it without a thought. "Thanks, Butterfingers."

"_Sir, the other Avengers are requesting entry to the workshop. May I inquire as to why you have initiated lock down?" _JARVIS spoke up for the first time since Tony had arrived back at the tower. Even though it sounded ignorant, Tony knew that his smartest creation was well aware what was wrong with his creator. What J really wanted to know was why Tony was unwilling to let his teammates in.

"I just needed to think about it for a while, J. I'll let them in eventually."

There was a moment of quiet in the large room, broken only by the light whirr of the bots doing chores and coming over on occasion to run a clawed hand over Tony's arms. "JARVIS, can you send a message to Pepper for me?" Tell her what's wrong... no, tell her that something's wrong, but don't tell her what. I'll tell her. I'll tell her everything."

"_As you wish, Sir."_ JARVIS replied. Tony ran an absent finger over You's supporting strut. The bot had been trying to drape a blanket over him, and was getting awfully close to smacking Tony's face with his arm. The genius reached out to help, pulling the grey wool that he kept for sleeping in the lab over his shoulders.

"You're due for an oil change, You. Get me the can?" You immediately perked up, letting out a long R2-D2 warble and spinning in a circle once before scooting to where the oil can sat. He scooped it up and brought it back to his creator, who smiled a little before starting to work.

AAAAAAA

_"Lock down; {protocol: apocalypse} override. Miss Potts has arrived, Sir." _JARVIS's words were just louder than the voice he used when people were sleeping, pulling Tony out of the half-doze he had settled in while designing and building... something. Now that he was awake and actually looked at it, he wasn't quite sure what he had made in his exhausted state; it looked a bit like a espresso machine. He'd have to take it back apart later.

Tony looked up to see the steel plating in the door slide open, admitting Pepper into the room. She took a couple of steps forward into the twilight, hesitant to go further until J raised the lights a few moments later. "Tony...?" The sound of her voice made Tony ache inside.

"Pepper." He stepped forward and pulled her into his arms, as much for himself as for her. She pulled back, taking in his disheveled appearance. There were oil stains on his clothing and grease was smudged onto his forehead and arms. Tony knew he probably looked exhausted.

"Tony, what's wrong? JARVIS called, he told me that something was wrong with you, but he wasn't able to tell me more, and that I should come home as soon as I could. What's wrong?" She repeated.

Tony let out a deep breath. "I have cancer."

"...What?" Pepper breathed.

"Primary liver cancer. We had physicals this morning, or yesterday, now, and they drew blood..." Tony walked her through the process had had undergone; the blood tests, the CT scan.

"Dr Ley thinks I should start with chemotherapy to try to shrink the tumor, and then have surgery to remove it. I just wanted to talk to you about it first."

"Oh, Tony..." Pepper rested her forehead against his neck, one hand on the Arc Reactor. Tears streaked her cheeks, and Tony's face was wet with his own tears. He wrapped his arms back around her and pulled her close.

They sat for nearly an hour, crying and talking. Finally, Pepper pulled Tony to his feet. "Come on, you should go to bed. And eat something." Tony was too tired and wrung out to argue with her about it. He nodded his assent and got back to his feet.

_"Sir, it is currently 2:39 in the morning. Would you like me to contact Dr Ley later this morning and set up a series of appointments?"_

Tony nodded at JARVIS' nearest camera. "Thanks, J. If you can, start tomorrow. Or later today, I guess."

"Today? That soon?" Pepper asked.

The genius nodded again. "I want it gone. I want it out of my body."

Pepper gave him a watery smile and walked with him to the elevator.

They leaned together, balancing perfectly. Tony lowered his head until it was resting on Pepper's shoulder, pressing his lips gently against her collarbone. "I love you, Pepper."

The redhead laughed, a short laugh full of tears, but a laugh. She ran her hand through his hair and rested her own head on his. "I love you too, Tony."

Just then, the elevator stopped moving. _"Sir, you are back on the communal "Avengers" floor. Estimated time of penthouse repair completion is 10:16 tomorrow morning. Would you like to go somewhere else?" _

Sometimes, Tony was really glad that he had programed JARVIS to grow and learn without extra commands. It made the AI so much more human.

The genius nodded, and the AI opened the door. The other Avengers had cleared out, either to their own rooms to sleep, or another area away from Tony, knowing that he would initiate contact when he wanted it.

Tony made it to bed and was asleep in ten minutes, one hand on the Arc Reactor, the other arm wrapped around Pepper.

AAAAAAA

The sand was everywhere, having blown in with Raza and the others when they came to argue with Tony about the missile and the time it would take him to build it. It was chilly and dank in the cave, despite the heat outside and the roaring fire that Tony was building up to flatten some of the missile casings.

There was a sound outside the doors, and then Tony was being hauled out by his hair and a leg, his arms flailing as he tried to protect the newly built reactor in his chest. They forced him to his knees in front of the tub.

"Why are you doing this?" Tony couldn't help but ask. "I told you, I'm building it, I can't make it go any faster, I-" One of the thugs backhanded the inventor across the mouth, making him bite his tongue and filling his mouth with blood, before punching him in the chest just below the reactor, knocking the breath out of his lungs.

Raza knelt in front of the wheezing billionaire, tilting up the man's head with several fingers to look him in the eyes.

"Because I can."

And with that, Tony's head was plunged into the tub and he immediately sucked in a lungful of water. His body was still fighting the punch to the chest, was still trying to pull in those lost seconds of oxygen, but now there was only water.

_Water,_ thought Tony groggily. _There's air in water. Fish use air from water. Fish. Fiiiisssh. Feeeeesssssh. Fishfishfishfish..._

The thug yanked his head out and smacked him on the back, making Tony choke and vomit water. He sucked in more air, still laced with the filthy tub water, making him cough more, but then he's shoved back in and _Oh, God, this time he's going to kill me, I'm going to die, I 'm going to die..._

Someone was yelling his name, and he thinks it's Yinsen, but _what is Yinsen doing out here?_ Then he realized, no, that's Steve's voice, and Clint's. _Why are they here? What is going on?_

"Tony! Tony, wake up! TONY!" The last call of his name woke him with a jolt and he bolted backwards from wherever he was until he hit the wall.

There were hands in his hair.

"Tony, sweetheart, it's okay, you're okay. Look at me, Tony, you're fine, you're here in the tower, everything's going to be okay..."

Tony could hear her voice break a little, because he was not okay. His body was all messed up, and his brain couldn't even let him forget for a while.

He looked around, trying to get his frantic breathing under control. At some point, he must have fallen out of the bed, because now he was curled into the small nook between his bed table and the bed itself, wrapped in blankets like a half mummy, dripping in sweat and shaking like a leaf. He couldn't shake the feeling that something's still wrong, and even though Cap and Clint and Pepper were all there, Tony quickly freed a hand from the blanket and yanked it off of himself, sighing slightly in relief at the blue light that shone into the half-lit room.

"I'm okay..." Tony tilted his head back against the wall. "I'm okay." Everyone in the room seemed to relax a little, but nobody moved. "J, what time is it?"

"_It is currently 9:03 in the morning, Sir."_ JARVIS faded the windows from the opaque setting into a brighter, more clear glass, letting in some of the morning light.

Tony took a look around for a moment. Steve was wearing sweatpants and a tight muscle shirt; he probably just got back from running or working in the gym. Clint... Clint still looked rumpled, like he just woke up, and his hair was a mess.

When Tony looked closer, he could tell that Clint's eyes were red, and his cheekbones were raw. There a brief moment of concern that Clint was crying because Tony had cancer, as illogical as that was, because he only sort of knew Tony, but then Tony saw the pillow Clint was clutching like his life depended on it.

It was about a foot in diameter, a small plush circle sewn in stripes to match Captain America's shield. The small initials carefully inked in a permanent fabric marker on one edge read P. J. C.

Phil.

Tony met Clint's eyes for a moment and saw the grief and world-weary ache that the marksman was hiding, then looked away. He didn't want to think about Phil. Not yet. He had told Pepper, in brief, what had happened. That was enough for now.

Steve silently offered a hand, and Tony accepted, pulling himself to his feet and dropping the rest of the blankets on the floor. He pulled on an oversized MIT sweatshirt over his t-shirt and followed the others out into the kitchen with Pepper.

Without him having to say it, Pepper went to the kitchen and started making hot chocolate. As much as he loved coffee, Pepper always knew when he needed hot chocolate instead. It made him think of when he had been very young, before he cared what his father said, when home was safe and perfect and comforting.

"Hot chocolate, Steve? Clint?" Both nodded, and JARVIS started heating the milk. Natasha wandered into the kitchen and sat down next to her partner, also wearing sweatpants and with mussed hair, but looking perfectly alert, and draped an arm over Clint's shoulder. Pepper added more milk without a word, both for Natasha and Bruce, who entered a moment later.

Which is how they began Saturday morning, five sixths of the Avengers plus Pepper, snuggled on couches drinking hot chocolate.

Steve had sat staring at his drink for almost five minutes before Bruce finally spoke up. "What's wrong, Steve? You have on a deep thoughts face."

The man out of time smiled at him, a little wryly. "I'm trying to remember the last time I had hot chocolate. Or chocolate at all. Its been... a long time."

"Come on," Tony injected. "They didn't feed you a lot of chocolate a SHIELD?"

Natasha snorted slightly. Clint smiled, a little, making him look less dead to the world.

"Fine." Tony shrugged. "And you were only awake at SHIELD for what, a month and a half?"

Steve nodded. "Almost two."

"And before that...?" Bruce prompted.

"Before that I was in World War II." Steve's eyes sharpened slightly.

There was a moment of silence. It was so easy to forget that their Captain, their fearless leader, was only in his early twenties, and had been fighting in one of the most brutal wars of all times only a few months ago, to him.

"So, the rationing, right?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah. I haven't had chocolate since I was...fifteen or sixteen? Eight years."

Pepper clutched at her throat, as if the very thought is killing her. "You haven't had chocolate in eight years? If I didn't have chocolate in eight years, I'd probably die!"

Tony laughed and faked throwing a pillow at her. "We all know you love your chocolate."

They all watched as Steve tried his first hot chocolate in almost eighty years. His eyes lit up, and he drank the whole mug.

"I think you're his new favorite person." Tony nudged Pepper. She smiled at him.

Tony closed his eyes for a moment. He was with his team. He was happy.

**THANKS to all who have reviewed! 27 reviews! You know who you are and you are the best! Keep R&R and thanks for tuning in!**


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